3 Simple Steps to Eliminate the FEAR
How can you live
in this world without having fear? If you fear of things, it means you are
alive and can feel what is going on around you. As much as it sounds attractive
to live with no fear, it is really not possible.
Without
fear – you are not human.
So it is normal
to have some fears. You may be afraid of snakes or jumping out of an airplane,
and there is nothing wrong with that. But you may also be afraid to appear
stupid, be vulnerable, or not liked, or have fear of failure, rejection, or
public speaking. These fears create anxiety -- they are not healthy.
Therefore, the
greatest challenge we face is overcoming fears that hold us back from achieving
our goals in business or life and sabotage growth or our ability to make
changes that last.
There are
“normal” and extreme cases when it comes to fear and anxiety. To nervous and
obsessive people fears have not only the physical (e.g. rapid breathing,
tightened chest, sweaty palms), but also mental affect - danger is attached to
usually “normal” physical symptoms of fear. These feelings and affects can usually
be minimized or eliminated only through extensive therapy, therefore, will not
be discussed in this report.
Here are 3 simple
steps that will help you overcome your fears:
- Analyze
- Control
- Transform
I.
ANALYZE
- Acknowledge & Write Down
The first step is to understand and accept that you have
fear. Describe it as best as you can and write everything down. This may sound
silly, but writing things down actually proves to be very effective when
analyzing intangible things like emotions.
By writing fears or what you are anxious about down, you
not only have to think, but this process will also enable you to make things
more real and clear in your head to acknowledge and accept them. In addition,
writing things down can tremendously increase the possibility of a positive
change – to eliminate the fear.
- Identify
You need to know where the fear or anxiety is coming from,
what or who activates it, and how to
stop or at least minimize it.
Ø Source. Where did your fear come from? You
may be afraid that you will not succeed or fail, and that could be a reason why
you procrastinate to start your own business. All this may be happen because
you had a friend who was not successful in his business and this fact prevents
you from acting. Fear can also be caused by insecurity, unfamiliarity, or lack
of exposure to certain situations. You may get anxious when going to an
interview because you do not know what to expect or questions to may get asked.
Ø Triggers. You also need to know what exactly
triggers fear each time. If you do not feel comfortable with public speaking,
every time you need to deliver a presentation, you will feel anxious.
Think also how the source and triggers make you feel. Fear
of flying may prevent you from traveling or visiting your family. There are
various triggers and affects, so you really need to get to the bottom of those
to fully understand what is going on and how fears resurface. Identify the
source and triggers and, depending on a situation, adjust to or eliminate them.
- Evaluate Outcomes
When you know what you fear and how it influences you,
visualize the best and worst case scenarios and the reality of those happening.
If you think your fear is commitment, analyze what would happen if you commit
to a relationship and if you don’t or whether “commitment” per say is the real
fear. You may be afraid of being hurt or ending up alone if a relationship does
not work out. But you may also end up being very happy if you let yourself
feel, be vulnerable and open to a relationship.
Compare possible end results and see what you would rather
have – an attempt to happiness or regret that you never tried. I am pretty sure
you know the answer by now.
II.
CONTROL
- Control Your Imagination
Acknowledgement is a huge step. So knowing what, who and
why you fear already gets far ahead. Every time you have those thoughts and
feelings, stop the inner monologue and redirect your
thoughts.
At first, you may not be successful, but with time you
will learn to handle them better and better. If you need to meet a new
potential client, you may feel uncomfortable and afraid that you may not be
able to close the deal. Yes, this may happen, but the situation itself should
not make you feel anxious.
Identify the possible outcomes and accept them. Once you
accept what may or may not happen, detach yourself from the outcome. Letting go
of the fears will allow you to focus more on the present moment and less on the
fear itself; it will make you feel in charge of the situation and not let
emotions control you.
- Confront Your Fear
Sometimes fear of the unknown affects us the most. So by
familiarizing yourself with a possible situation or whatever you fear of, you
may diminish your fear at least in half.
Wouldn’t that be great?
You may be afraid of or anxious about big dogs because you
never had one. So you have created an image and a story inside your head that
they look scary and that they may attack you. In this case it would be a good
idea to find a closed-in dogs’ park to observe them from outside.
First, get used to seeing them how they interact with each
other and with people from distance. Then after several observations you may go
into the closed-in area and get closer to dogs. You would be very pleasantly
surprised that after a while you may even like them and want to own one.
Try confronting what you fear. Take this chance and you
might end up liking what you feared the most.
- Do Not Deviate.
Surroundings influence us and our decisions. So if you
want to go out of your comfort zone and try or achieve new things, go for it.
Just figure out what you really want and how to get there. Have a plan and do
not let anyone or anything to hold you back. Set your mind to it and be focused
on where you want to be.
If you feel that you have drifted, just gather yourself
and refocus; we all get off the course sometimes.
III.
TRANSFORM
1.
Imagine / Visualize
After you know your fear and what causes it, now you need
to set your mind and think how you want things to change. Visualize a
possible outcome and “practice” it (e.g. performing a task) in your mind. If you want to change a career, but you’re
constantly afraid that you may not find a job that you like, then you may not
succeed at it. But if you get necessary education and skill-set, and actually
believe that you can do this and take steps towards this goal, you will be
successful.
Scientists show that perceptual learning can occur by
mental imagery as much as by the real thing. The results suggest that thinking
about something over and over again could actually be as good as doing it.
But always stay positive; if you have
only negative thoughts, you can easily implant “failure” into the brain.
- Transform Fear Into An Opportunity & Positive Drive
Fear can incite a feeling of exhilaration or thrill (e.g. horror
movies or extreme sports), and some of us need that to live life to the
fullest.
Fear is often directly related to what we desire or who we
want to become. Shifting your focus and re-framing fear into a
positive can open different opportunities in your life or business.
If you are an introvert, you may not be feeling very
comfortable with the crowds. However, it should not stop you from sharing your
knowledge and teaching, if you want that. All you need to do is acknowledge and
understand your fear and anxiety, start small – maybe practice with your family
or people you feel comfortable with, and then gradually move to bigger crowds.
Always know that confidence in your knowledge and skills will help overcoming
the fear.
This might sound crazy, but self-talk is extremely
powerful when trying to silence that constant inner voice of failure. By saying
“I am in charge” or “I can do this” (or whatever other power phrase that may
work for you), you will achieve great results and eliminate your fears faster.
- Break It Down
Your fear might be taking over when you have too big of a
goal. Remember an example about fear of big dogs? It would be nearly impossible
to make you feel fully comfortable next to a dog in several hours. But if you
break that goal down into smaller steps, you will be able to manage: find a dog
park, go to a dog park, observe dogs from distance, stand next to dogs, etc.
Take small steps first, get accustomed, and you will have
a greater chance reaching your goal – overcoming fear.
- Celebrate Success.
Whether your fear relates to business or life in general,
you have to celebrate your victories. There is nothing more rewarding and
motivating than acknowledging and celebrating your achievements.
To your Freedom! :)
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