About the Intuition and more
Some people are so scared to face the reality and see what is behind the curtains that they go against their strong gut feeling or intuition and choose to live in a bubble and believe whatever people throw at them. Moreover, many of us forget that we and people around us create our own reality and belief system, and do not even realize that our reality and beliefs can be easily shifted if we allow others to do that.
Often women are the victims of the lies because we are very trusting that our partners would tell us the truth no matter what. I am not saying that it cannot be the other way around, just that we as women tend to trust and believe the words we hear more than our intuition. Words can be so powerful that some of us lose the sense of what is real and what is not. It is not new that women are usually good at expressing what they are feeling, while men tend to be more closed up. So for us, women, when a man starts talking and expressing their feeling we want to believe every word they are saying because this is not a very common thing and we seek for communication and support.
But let's take a look how women are ignoring their intuition and why.
I know a lady, who I truly feel sorry for because her partner has lied to her for many years about how he really feels about her. Eventually, he betrayed her several times, and when she confronted him, he still was not able to tell the whole truth, but instead, he threw some good person under the bus to save his reputation and so the wife does not take the kids. He lied, and still does, about the feelings towards her and another person. Now they go to the couple's counseling, and he still continues the lying cycle. Since this man is very good at getting what he wants and influencing others, he still tells her that he loves her and wants to be with her, but the reality is that deep inside he wants nothing, but out. The only reason of this mascaraed is that he wants the kids, and he is committed to lying for the next several years.
You may ask... what about the woman? She is a very smart woman, but she is a believer and a somewhat insecure person. She believes everything he says to her. When a man learns how to show emotion along with the words he's saying, a woman believes everything despite the fact that the intuition says something different.
Some men find it difficult to communicate or express their feelings, while others are good at this and enjoy sharing. So a woman's task is to know her partner and interpret the words and feelings attached to the words correctly. In this example, the man is a very good communicator, but his ego and personal agenda do not allow him to share the true feelings and face the consequences of the truth. Therefore, he chooses the easier route - to blame others and continue lying. You may say that this is great example of manipulation, and I totally 100% agree, but this is a topic for the next time.:)
A lot of women have the ability to feel when something is off or wrong. Some of us just have an intuition or gut feeling, others have dreams, and in some cases we just know, but we cannot explain how. But how much do we really follow that intuition? It is very sad, but very little.
The fact is that this particular woman I mentioned above has a very strong intuition. However, she chooses to shut her intuition and go with the lies.
Wonder why?
Well, I can tell you my opinion. It is EASIER to be "blind" and think that another person has changed and that he or she is telling the truth. In this case, the woman is a strong believer in good reputation among the friends, and she will do anything to protect that. She chooses to be "blind" and stand by the "truth" that he created in her head. It does not matter that she has cried for months and still does sometimes and questions his true feelings, she still chooses to believe the fabricated words and actions because other possibilities might be too difficult to accept and deal with.
FEAR and many "What ifs" have such a huge power over us. What if my intuition is right? What if the man does not really love me? What if he has real feelings for another person? What if he leaves me? What if my life becomes worse? What if people judge me? What if I lose friends? What if...
The fear holds us back from facing the reality and makes us create the belief system to "protect" us.
The problem is that we are not the only ones creating our reality. Some people are very good at creating other people's reality, persuading about things that they want others to believe, and creating facts to support their words. After years of lying, such people become "professionals", and it is very hard for a human brain to distinguish the real truth from the lies. In the example above, the woman makes tons of excuses to believe the husband's lies rather than follow her own intuitions, and this is not because she is stupid, no, she is a very smart lady. She may not know how to do that, and she does not know how to love & accept herself.
Relationships is a very tough and touchy subject. In any relationship, you have to be in sync with yourself, love and accept yourself, believe your intuition, and be able to trust yourself in order to see the real picture. And if you don't, you will let the others to affect you mentally and emotionally. I strongly believe that it is important to be to true to myself and never stop growing as a person.
If you are "lost" in that the feeling of "something is off or wrong", do not disregard this feeling and pay attention to your inner voice. My advise is to keep digging and looking for clues WHY you allow others to blind and influence you so much, and I promise, if you are really determined, you will find the answers. I did not believe nor used my intuition for many years, but once I realized its power, the answers started coming to me and the situations became clear.
All that matters is the peace inside you!
Often the person who's being controlled stays in the relationship
because she or he is scared that they will not be able to make it
without that relationship, that their life can be worse or that others
may suffer if they choose what they really want, i.e. "out". If you are
one of these people, the reality is that you are simply not ready to
face the situation or accept and face you (yes, YOU), and dig really
deep. We have to start with ourselves first. You may deny the truth to
others, but you really need to be honest with yourself. If you're not
honest with yourself, whatever you do will only make things worse. If
you are in a bad relationship or simply are not happy with one, you need
to understand why, what you really want, what you are not getting, etc.
, and most importantly, what you are ready to do about it.